MOVE OVER CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW,

SINCE DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES, YOU WILL HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH MINE

Yes, I am a pirate 200 years too late. The cannon don’t thunder there’s nothin’ to plunder I’m an over 60 victim of fate. Arrivin’ too late. Been my fate.

My apologies, to Jimmy Buffet.

Moving away from the legend, officially I arrived in this world an Iowan. Notice, unlike many from this fine state I didn’t say Hawkeye. Instead of attending that fine institution of higher learning, I chose the Harvard of the Midwest, Drake University. (Though some might say Harvard is the Drake of the East.) Where I completed a Masters Degree. After convincing myself I needed further educating I completed my Doctoral Studies at Ohio University, in Athens Ohio. At this point, I also need to mention that contrary to popular opinion. Ohio is the Bobcat State. (Who would want to be thought of as some kind of poison nut? Even squirrels don’t eat buckeyes)

Excuse me had to pause at this point to recover. Patted myself so hard on the back, I got a cramp.

Yes now, where was I?. Oh yes, I just finished sharing my intellectual credits.

While employed as a Psychologist, I dabbled in the forensic area of the field. Not just child custody, but identifying and working with real evildoers. Most are ordinary people like you and I. (At least I hope I’m ordinary in that regard) But there are true monsters out there. How they got to that point is often heart-rending, but once they reach that point, they need to be put away to keep the rest of us safe. Not abused mind you. As that road usually led to where they are, but comfortable and confined.

Moving on. I met and married a wonderful woman, why she picked me or didn’t at least avoid me successfully I am uncertain. I would put her picture here, but she refused to allow it. Doesn’t want to be hassled by the paparazzi while shopping. That can be quite annoying I’m sure.  The fact that we’ve remained together for thirty years is a testament to her strength.

Together we produced three children, two boys, and a girl. All awesome despite my influence.

I have always been a scribbler of sorts but took a hiatus from fiction while I practiced my profession. Retired now I have time to devote to this craft. I hope what I produce provides you as much pleasure as I get from producing it.

INTERVIEW REGARDING PACT WITH THE DEVIL